Fear of God

Detective Inspector Ian Amory

Four-year-old Alanna Robinson’s case shook our department to its foundations. Most of us had never even heard about exorcism happening in real life, but there we were, gathered standing around a table and staring at pictures of one. The case was so unique I had no clue as to how to proceed with it. I was a profound atheist myself and had little understanding for religious crimes. I could not comprehend, how someone would do something of that magnitude in the name of their god. Neither did I understand, how somebody could actually be convinced that their child was possessed by a demon. How could anyone believe such a thing.

Alanna Robinson’s parents had been taken into custody as well as the man who had claimed to be a priest. That had been a lie as was proven at the beginning of the interrogations. The parents had not been aware of the deception. All three were now accused of murder. The parents seemed to have a motive as Alanna had had a life insurance, which could greatly help the financially unstable couple. I was appalled though, that for any reason a parent could kill their child in such a brutal manner. As to what came to the idea of them murdering their child for insurance money, I was not convinced of it completely. I was questioning the fact that they would be stupid enough to think they would get away with it doing it this way. It raised too much attention to them. That whole morning I had been trying to write down something to say to the reporters I would have to face eventually, but I was not satisfied with anything I had tried. I threw away yet another piece of paper on which I had failed to write down what I wanted to say. The trashcan was flooding on to the floor with discarded grid paper.

Furthermore, the parents of Alanna Robinson seemed sincere against all odds. It was quite obvious that they truly believed their daughter had been possessed. Or they were extremely convincing liars. I did not know what to believe, to be honest. My head was throbbing with pain and the coffee on my table had turned cold and bitter. I buried my face into my hands and slowly let a deep breath escape from my lips. I raised my head and my eyes met the picture lying on the table, a picture, that showed a little, bruised body lying on a bed, dead. What the hell I am going to do with this case?

The exorcism that had took place had started with Alanna Robinson’s parents and the fake-priest tying the four-year-old girl into her bed with thick, braided rope made of polyester. Then, while the pretend-priest had prayed, the girl had been trying so hard to escape the ropes, that they had caused burn marks on her legs and hands. According to her mother and father, Alanna had been howling, cursing to Satan’s name and spitting towards the priest. They noted seeing the girl's eyes turn black and her laughing manically and making animal noises. After that, the three of them had hold Alanna’s eyelids open by force and poured 'holy water' into her eyes and mouth in order to drown the demon inside. Then it had gotten completely out of hand. The girl had been beaten several times with a wooden stick, all the adults had covered her with a blanket, face included, and sat on her. Alanna’s rib cage had collapsed and she had died. Her parents described the room being filled with thick, black smoke as well as the bed shaking uncontrollably. They had not realized what they had done, at first. However, when they had wrapped their heads around it, they had panicked, and Mr. Robinson had called the police himself. Alanna’s parents held on to their believe that Alanna had been possessed by a demon. They blamed the man who had falsely introduced himself as a priest. He had not admitted to them, not only that he was not a priest at all, but that he also did not have any previous experience of carrying out an exorcism.

All of it felt simply unbelievable.

Father Salomon Saxon

Just like any other morning, I was enjoying a cup of coffee black, a chicken sandwich and some yogurt with fresh strawberries, while sitting at our kitchen table. My wife Iris had brought me the newest paper which was currently resting on the counter. I could see the big letters on the cover page shouting at me. As I was reading it, I got shivers down my spine. I knew what was going to be in it.

Abigail and Oswald Robinson. I had met the couple few weeks prior. They had contacted me under extremely odd circumstances as they were convinced that their child had been possessed by a demon. At first, I did not believe what I was hearing but Abigail and Oswald were relentless. After a short discussion I agreed to meet them and their daughter Alanna.

Never before had I heard such a thing in my life. I mean, I had heard of possessions and exorcisms but not in real life. I did not know any catholic priest who would have actually carried out an exorcism, let alone asked me to do one. And I had been a priest for 30 years. To be perfectly honest, regardless of my faith, I did not believe demon possessions were real.

Nevertheless, I agreed to meet the family. My first impression of them was that they were not tidy people. The house looked as if it had been a long time since someone cleaned in it. They were obviously not financially successful people either. Actually, it seemed that they were quite poor but managing nonetheless. Meeting Alanna I felt nothing out of the ordinary about her. She had good manners even thought she seemed a little shy. Her room was relatively small and smelled of dirty clothes. In the corners were so much dust that it had already started to form balls. Alanna was wearing denim overalls, which had not been washed for a while assuming from the smell coming from them. The girl was pale but I had guessed it was due to a poor nutrition rather than to a demon possession. Her parents were pale anyway, so it seemed she was probably like that naturally too. Her barley-like yellow hair had been tied up but was too short in the front for all the hair to reach the ponytail. So some of the hair was hanging in front of her eyes.

The whole time I spent at the house Alanna was playing by herself, and did not seem anyway different than the average girl of her age. Her parents were nice and decent too, but definitely a bit jumpy. They were scared at something. Oswald explained to me, why they thought Alanna might be possessed:

“She's just normal right now, yes, but sometimes she changes. She becomes something else. She calls herself Elvira. She uses curse words that neither of us have taught her. During the night, she walks around the house and sometimes when she comes to our bedroom, her eyes turn black. I've seen it myself!” His voice was crackling.

“And then, sometimes she makes this noise that sounds like a dog growling. She has broken stuff in her room and I've seen her levitate. She just sort of hovers in the air. That makes me really scared. She talks about Satan, mentions his name. She has also hit my wife and pulled her hair. She has called her a whore. It seems as if all the rage is towards her,” Oswald explained, and then looked at his wife. He took her hand into his own and started gently rubbing it.

“I'm terrified of her,” Abigail whispered and started crying. All this time, Alanna had been within a hearing distance but seemed not to react in anyway to what was said about her. I would rather had that conversation just between the adults.

“And when she snaps out of it, she cannot remember anything she has said or done. Can you please help us?” Oswald begged. My heart was breaking for the family, but I had to be honest of what I really thought about the situation. I calmly told them that I did not believe the girl was possessed. After that, I recommended them to take Alanna to a psychiatrist because I strongly believed, that the behavior their daughter showed, could be explained with schizophrenia or something similar. Both Abigail and Oswald seemed disappointed in my answer. They insisted it was a demon. I got the queer feeling that they were not telling me the whole truth. Unfortunately, I could not do more for them. In the name of Jesus Christ, I was sure that it was no demon but an illness. Before I left, I prayed with the whole family and as I hold Alanna’s hand, I felt nothing. No evil.

And now, I became aware that Abigail and Oswald Robinson had not taken my advice. They had found another priest, who turned out not to be priest at all, and they had gone along with the exorcism. As I read how it had all played out, I knew right away, it had not been an exorcism. Carrying out an exorcism, you should never touch the child. If I had agreed on doing the ritual, I would have prayed in the name of Jesus and archangel Michael, whose responsibility it was to fight against the devil. I realized, that if I had agreed on doing the exorcism, little Alanna would still be alive. I could not fight the tears and the pages of the newspaper became wet. Oh Lord. Was it right thing to do when I declined? I was so sure the child was not possessed. Even so, should I have carried out the ritual? Maybe try and guide them? What have I done.

Abigail Robinson: six years later

It had been five long years in jail for the murder of my own daughter. I had been convicted, even though I still believed I was only guilty of trusting the wrong person, the one that lied about being a priest. I had trusted that he knew what we were doing and that we were only hurting the demon inside and not Alanna. He had assured so. It had been an emotional ritual for me. I wanted to quit many times during the exorcism, but had assured myself, that what we were doing was right and we would soon have our daughter back. I should have listened to my gut, though. But I did not. And now I was in jail, accused of something I did not do. That did not mean I was not guilty, though. This punishment was right for me and my husband. I could never get over the trauma caused by seeing my dead daughter’s body and realizing what we had done.

Even so, I was still to this day convinced that Alanna had been possessed. No one else could understand my believe, but I knew better. No mental illness could have explained it. No illness could make you levitate or give you strength like that. It was not human. And then was the name Elvira.

Alanna had claimed to be someone called Elvira. The name did not resonate with others but I knew what it meant. When I was little, I caused my sister’s death. Not on purpose of course, but I had accidentally pushed my sister of the balcony of our two-storey house. She died instantly. I had lived with the shame my whole life without ever telling a soul. After my sister’s death, my parents shut down. The name Elvira was never mentioned again in our family. Alanna could not have heard it anywhere. But when she started to talk, she started to insist that her name was Elvira. She started to manifest violent tendencies towards me and one night, when she came into our bedroom, she stared at me and said:

“Sister. Why are you afraid? You want to kill me, sister?”

Even though, the room had been dark, I could still see that her eyes were all black as the ink of an octopus. Her feet did not touch the ground. She tilted her head and said:

“You will pay with your life.”

That night I became convinced that she was possessed. It could not have been anything else. I feared for my life. Me and my husband, we contacted father Salomon Saxon for help, as he was well-known for a good reputation among the catholic church. But he did not help us. And then we found that other priest, the fake one. The night we carried out the exorcism was the night of utter terror. I felt so insecure. When the morning sun shined through the windows, we got up and lifted the blanket, and I could see then: she was gone. Terror like that is something that has no match. We could never take back what we had done that night.

In jail I had time to reflect upon that night for the end of my days. And for sure, not a day would pass by without me doing so. I could not do more than pray to God. But I feared that God in his anger would never forgive me.